Where is the hickey?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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