i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
