Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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