A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
