We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's rum buckets o'clock
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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