I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
