whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
