So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
