When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
