I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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