Screwed.edu
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
