After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
