do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
