it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Randomize
