OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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