you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
