Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
