Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
