we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
now i know why i became what i already was.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
