Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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