I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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