I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
