Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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