called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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