That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
