my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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