Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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