Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I need moral support for this bender
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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