Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
