Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
