I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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