And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
