Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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