I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
