do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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