therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
