Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
