So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize