help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
