your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize