you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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