I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Little spoons don't ask big questions
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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