I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
