Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i now understand why vodka
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
