You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
