i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've blown a few things in my day
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
