mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize