well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
