Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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