Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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