Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
