Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so let's talk penis.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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