Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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