It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
