Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
