i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
