Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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