ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
