wrigley field is MILF paradise
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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