True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
