i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
