at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
